why do I feel immensely jealous of people with any talent?
Whenever I see a video of someone who can do something very well (i.e; sing/dance/write/atheletic stuff ) I feel very useless because I’ve got no talents whatsoever
Then I’ll try to find their flaw (i.e; they’re fugly/stupid/kampung/slut/rotten personality) to make myself feel better.
Is that normal?
Am I having some sort of problem with my self esteem?
of course I didn’t tell anyone I took a total of 8 MCs in 4 months. OooOps I just did.
I hate my job. Despite saying it for the millionth time it doesn’t make it any better.
Its raining goats and cows outside..
I hate it when it rains because there’s a tin roof right outside my room. Its almost as bad as the air stewardess who washes her clothes at 3am in the morning.
I was being bitchy to jian lun just now because I’m PMS-ing he called me at the wrong time. I got a horrible headache for lying down watching ugly betty from my laptop for 4 hours straight and was about to sleep when the phone started ringing….When it finally stop I was happy…then I realise, jian lun don’t just stop calling people, if he can’t reach you, he’ll call continuously till he speak to something, even your voicemail….So I reluctantly opened an eye to take a peek..hhmm..I must be really sleepy……my phone screen is blank.. Then I realised, I haven’t turned off my phone for so long I forgotten that it can actually run out of battery and shut down…
So I plugged in my phone and turn it on, Taadaaa.. like the sun that never fail to rise from the east every morning, Jian Lun is still calling me.. I think I’ve known him too long and spent too much time with him. Anyway he just wanted to know if I’m alright and if I wanted to watch a movie tonight. “Aaaawwww..” *oh, not like matthew he’s not up for grabs, although he temporary is I think, but I think he’s too complicated. Better go for matthew..I mean girls who are reading this, not sure if there’s anyone reading this..*
Then I told him “jian lun! you keep calling me my phone died! and told him I’m too lazy to go look for movie to watch and I’m going back to sleep”
then he said “ok ok, don’t go for a movie.. I’ll call you later for your dinner ok?”
he actually remembered that I’d die of hunger if no one comes feed me.. “double aaww..”
But at that time I was too sleepy to do the aww.. I was just angry and emotional and hormonal. Ok I know, there can’t be two “and” in a sentence, and I want to be a writer..hhmm..
So anyway after it started raining rhinos and elephants, I had to give up my sleep because it feels like I’m trying to sleep in a club with techno music.. I got up, go take a long shower and thought I’d feel better……..but when I came out of the toilet, I can see in the sink mirror, Amir (the malay guy that is my housemate) staring……if I can see him in the mirror staring back at me means he can see me right? Eventhough I’m wrapped in my towel, I felt like I was naked….and I have this habit of wiping myself dry in my room, so when I walk out of the toilet, I was still dripping wet…..But anyway I felt way way more horrible than before I went shower…..because Amir wasn’t alone, his cousin was there as well, staring….I wanted to shout “hey! not giving a free show here!! go MYOB!”
I really need my own toilet in my own room. A masturbateroom. ok lame. It sounded cool when giri said it..
Master bed room
There. then I can be a master. ok. I’ll stop being lame…
But anyway back to square dancing……I can’t move till I find a new job and to find a new job I need a car.
so watever… *roll eyes with hand gesture*
dad called. something about kota kinabalu, sent you an email, go read it..
whenever dad calls, I learnt to use my filtering listening…..
Its either my dad was mumbling like usual or my filter is not working properly cause I didn’t really understand what was he saying…
So to prevent him calling me back saying “I thought I asked you to….”
I came home and read my mail…..
I wanted to gag….
the mail started with:
Ai (my aunty’s name)
we are going to kota kinabalu on (date). We’ll be landing at the sinai airport..
I was thinking who is this WE..
then later on in the paragraph there’s “joyce will be starting her work on 1/3/10 in Johor…”
Why would my dad think it’s necessary to tell me in detail of his life with his girlfriend?
I’m thinking of buying a car
“what? are you mad? you just told me you want to quit your job!”
“yea, I want to buy a car before I quit my job”
“yipin, are you listening to yourself talk?”
“yea, I need to buy a car before I quit so that I can get a loan”
“if you quit who’s gonna pay for your car?”
“I’ll think about that later”
so anyway, the thing is, I want to change my job.
Most of the jobs that I’m interested in requires me to travel extensively and I can’t travel without a car, so I can’t quit my job if I don’t buy a car, but if I buy a car I can’t quit my job unless I get another job
Anyway I want to move too. If I’m gonna buy a car, I can move anywhere instead of somewhere near a bus stop or somewhere with bus route. But if I buy a car, can I still afford to move?
In the end I’m back to square one.
no car, same crappy house and even crappier job.
So tired of this dance.
So, I should just take the challenge, get a car and think later. At least then I’ll have some progress.
Itsnotnicewhenyoufriendfindyourboyfriendandgotthereplythenumberiscurrentlynottraceable
orfindouthe’sinahotelsomewherefaraway
i’mwritinglikethisbecauseidontlikeitwhenpeoplecomplainthaticomplaintoomuch
ifyouactuallytakethetimetoreadthismeansyouvegotthetimetohearmecomplain
gotalldresseduplastnightthenfriendcancelledlastminute
gotdisappointedandreallywantedtogooutthenrealisethati’vegotnoonetocall
Today may not be the best day of my life, but I’m happy in the end.
I woke up not knowing what to do..
Giri’s flying…
Ying qi’s got lunch..
Matt’s got churh..
Jian Lun’s got Julie..
Bros’ got date..
I’m sure I can take care of myself..
I decided to walked to Summit to have lunch..
Then decided to go do my hair..
I wanted to just trim my hair..Then decided to might as well wash it..Then the hairstylist talked me into treatment..
End up spending 2 hours in the salon..
Oh well, I’ve got too much time to kill anyway..
I felt kind of sad that I’ve got nowhere to go after that though…cause the hairstylist help me to curl my hair so nicely..
walked home and it started raining the moment I stepped into my house..
God Loves me…
I spent like 2 hours watching some drama..
Then spent like an hour talking to ying qi and kah wei..
Then..
I broke my door knob..
Don’t ask. I did not break it…it came off when I was twisting the knob..
I called Giri, then realise that he’s flying and couldn’t be reached..
I called Jian lun..He can’t be reached either..most prob with Julie..
So I called Matthew..if there’s no one to depend on, you can always count on Matthew = )
So Matthew came…and we looked at each other and decided we need more help…
Then Matthew asked “have you tried Hong keat?” and I realise I never even thought of him..
Its always Giri, Jian lun, Matthew..
So I called Hong keat, but there was something wrong with his phone..
Then I called Nick..
Yay..Nick is home..
Nick came..
and my knob is all right again in 10 minutes..
ok, I know, seems like I’m just ranting like usual…..
But there’s a moral of the story in this story…….
Today I realise that:
Today I got a call from chiao lin.
Well, actually I’m not sure if its really her because the call was recorded, so I can’t go like “OMG, is that you chiao lin? I’m yipin!!”
but how many yeap chiao lin can there possibly be in penang right?
Is chiao lin from ayer itam?
400 agents, I cant believe I manage to pick up a call from someone I know.
Its 10 reasons why I need my job. Not why I need to LOVE my job….
I hate my job
The Rabbit
Cuddly, warm and affectionate are the attributes of the Rabbit. Mysterious and a great party-giver and host, the Rabbit enjoys being the centre of attention once in a while. The Rabbit is occasionally over cautious and can be a bit boring. He is also one of the luckiest signs in the Chinese Astrology chart.
Forecast for 2010
The focus will be on the Rabbit’s career and job prospects during the Year of the Tiger, with unexpected promotions and recognition very likely. Travel is also highlighted, with short breaks and spontaneous, fun trips featuring during the late Spring and early Summer. Healthwise, the Rabbit could find the speed of the Tiger year exhausting and it’s important he balance work with rest and relaxation. Promotion at work or in the Rabbit’s career will be sure to feature and they need to act quickly – no hanging back to see what happens! Some Rabbits will be dissatisfied with their current living arrangements and the perfect new home may appear most unexpectedly – they must act quickly and not miss out! Friendships will play a big role during 2010 with possibly one or two friends needing extra care and help. May and October to January will bring special and fun social gatherings. February and March will be significant and fortunate for those looking to change jobs while July and August will be most auspicious for single Rabbits looking for love – an unexpected liaison could result from a work related social event.
