Bunny thoughts

Today, there’s a lady who said I look elegant, no, I didn’t buy her lunch, no, she don’t owe me money or anything, no, she don’t work for me, no, she was really sincere! I really can’t think of any motive for her being nice to me other than being nice. So of course I was happy and flattered. I’m just rambling. I like writing random things that happened to me. Of course I used to write sad things, but I think now I want to stick to happy things. Sad things are already sad enough without being documented.

I’ve just started working as an editor. What I mean by just is for about 8 months already..So far, I still don’t like telling people I’m an editor because people will immediately ask “for what magazine? Cleo? Women’s weekly? Men’s health *wink*wink*? No, I’m an editor for Buku Sekolah rendah and menengah. School text books, reference books, work books. Counting 2+3 to F=ma. Of course there’s the occasional story about yeast and amoeba…Omg, as if I’m not nerdy enough already! As if studying for the past 20 years is not enough! Truth is, although this job is superbly, extremely, extraordinarily boring, it’s very stable. That is compared to my previous McJob. Now I work 5 days a week, get stuck in both the morning rush hour and the evening snail trail home, and stagnant but consistent income.  8 months and I didn’t quit yet! already beating McJob’s record!  As you may have noticed (or may not, if you’re not that sharp), I don’t love my job, but I feel very comfortable in it.

So do I stay?

I don’t really want to answer that right now because I’m sick of going for interviews and wait anxiously for the result.. It’s like going for blind dates…. not that I’ve been to any…

so, lets end here, I don’t really know what else to say, after 8 months of not writing, I’m a bit nervous….

My boyfriend told me that I have problem interacting with other people…A comment like that, coming from a person whom I’ve known for 10 years and dated for 5 years, I really can’t just let it slip by. Can you?

Truthfully, I haven’t been entirely happy…but when had I actually been?

Life to me is just, life. I breathe, I eat, I sleep, get cranky when lack of food or sleep, get slightly happier when full and sleeping. That’s life to me.

Life is meaningless.

Every year it’s the same. Having dinner together with people who don’t even want to be there..and can’t wait to leave. Why bother with this charade year after year after year? Don’t people get sick of pretending?is there suppose to be a certain meaning to it?all of us, practically strangers sitting together having fake small talk pretending to be concerned of each other..

I just realised that it’s been exceptionally long since I last updated……. time really flies by without us realising sometimes….

What happened since I don’t remember when?

I got my car! YAY!

I moved! YAY!

I got a little more used to my job! YAY!

I guess that’s why I haven’t been writing much lately…..

I will post something up whenever I’m depressed. But lately, I’m a lot more contented with life. I feel comfortable. I’ve got practically everything that I wanted.

There was this list of goals in my room. There’s 6 goals in it. It’s suppose to be a secret but since Jian Lun already read it when he helped me move house, I guess it’s not much of a secret anymore. So these 6 goals are:

1. Be a great driver
2. Get a great job
3. Be more updated in recent events
4. Be fluent in Japanese
5. Get a nice home
6. Lose weight

Of course the first thing Jian Lun asked me was, “yipin, can you speak japanese?” and my reply was, “erm, maybe, a little bit, I can read a bit” then he said “OMG, then you’ll never lose weight….cause that’s number 6…..” my face was -________-”

The thing is, when I was writing my goals, I didn’t really number them in priority….. But my point of bringing up that list is because out of 6 things inside, I have 2 already….and I’m still working on the others. I used to think it’s really impossible to achieve my goals, but now, it’s actually quite reachable. Which is why I’m feeling so contented. I used to think that everything is so difficult and impossible and all the negative things always crawl in my head and I’ll get myself into this depressed state.

Perhaps this change was brought about by Giri’s mom, she’s always very encouraging. I love talking to her. It may also be because I actually like my current job, eventhough it’s got nothing to do with my degree and it’s not a very glamourous job ( I work in a factory). It may also be because I finally have a place to call home. But I think it’s all 3, the 3 most important factors in life. Getting a nice home, a great job and a supporting family( eventhough it’s not my family).

I turned 23 recently, but everyone keep saying I act like I’m 43…some even said 53..

Maybe it’s true, sometimes I feel very old, like I’ve gone through a war and a few centuries worth of life experiences, its difficult to imagine this is just the first 2 decades of my life.

The key to true happiness is making the best out of everything that you have, if not, how can you be happier with more?

Yesterday we were at our usual mamak session and then decided that we should go watch a movie. Since its been forever since we last watched a movie together. We were suppose to go watch ironman together but then we never did, because of a certain someone.

Then we got to talking bout Toy Story 3. I got super excited cause I wanted to watch it. But Giri, Matt and Tee Tzin’s response were just luke warm. They don’t really want to go to a cinema to watch animation.

Then Giri asked ” did you all watch toy story 1 and 2? ” and Matt defended himself saying, “yea, it was so many years ago, we were still watching cartoons then……”

Then we got to talking bout characters that we like. Giri loves Buzz lightyear “To infinity and beyond!”

Matt said ” I like all the soldiers….”

Then I said ” I like the pig.”

Everyone was silent for a while…..

Then Matt said “oh well, we all like what we want to be……”

#$%&*^$#$%$#%&&!!

Then we were contemplating what would Tee Tzin, Jian Lun and Hong Keat be…..

I think we concluded that Hong Keat should be Mr potato head

and Jian Lun is the Dinosaur.

I think it will be a good movie to watch..

should definitely watch it…..

Giri’s Mom and Aunt Vicky said: Go APPLY for NESTLE!! GET FREE MILK POWDER FOR YOUR KIDS IN THE FUTURE……

Yang and Ching said : Go APPLY for DUTCH LADY!!!! GET FREE MILK…….

hhmm wats with free milk?  Ok. I love milk too

But I already applied for NESTLE for 3 times. Once on my own. They called but only to offer a contract job. Then second time via my aunt as management trainee but they say they don’t have any opening at the moment. Then a third time I sent my resume via Giri’s Mom’s friend, offering a job as a lab technician. Interesting. I asked her to arrange for an interview but she never called me back. Hmm..

Dutch Lady didn’t call me. I think cause I only forwarded an old resume to them, no cover letter or anything. Cause they want to apply via Jobstreet.

But then, I got a call from MacFood~

I’m Lovin’ It…..

Going for interview again tomorrow = )

I think its a good opportunity.

Pray that God is with me. So that I’ll be brave.

Feel so disturbed.

I slept thru a party last night. A party held by my housemate in my house to which I’m not invited to.  But anyway I was really sleepy and decided not to go out of my room at all. Most probably it’s not a party, cause it was too quiet. Maybe just a few guys over for some drinks.  I’m just being dramatic. I slept super early last night. It was the coolest night ever, the best night I’ve had in weeks. So because it was such a satisfying sleep, I woke up at 7am. Which is amazing. I walked to the toilet, then gasp. Amir, thats the name of my only housemate left. Amir’s room door is open and its empty inside, except an unplugged tv, a computer table with his laptop and desktop.

Of course the first thing I did was panic. What else would I do right? I’m best at panicking first, then think later.

So I went down, Omg, there’s boxes of things there…… Wait, is that a keyboard and amplifier and guitar? I don’t think thats all his belongings?

I sms Giri, which is useless, not like he’d know whether Amir moved out or not. He’s miles away….. across the ocean.

So obviously the wisest thing to do is, sms Amir.

STOP. Stop thinking why didn’t I just do that in the first place. It’s cause I hate talking to him. He don’t understand what I say. He actually misunderstands everything I say and he likes looking at me weirdly. If I can, I would never ever talk to him. Not even text him. When he’s home, I stay in my room. To avoid him.

Ok, so I sms him and he said “no, not moving out. Those things downstairs are my cousins. Sorry if we disturbed you last nite.”

So I replied “oh no, I didn’t hear anything. Just saw your room empty.”

and surprisingly he replied ” we have a wedding celebration today nearby.”

for a moment I was shocked, cause I thought I slept thru a WEDDING!

then I realise today, means toDAY. Not last night.

Then he send me another sms “we had so much laugh and a loud audio system. thought we woke u…. if you need anything jus text me coz I noticed u didn’t go anywhere for a few days”

seriously……other than some laugh and some “ssshhh…” I didn’t hear anything! It’s either I’m severely deaf or my room door is amazingly soundproof, which I’m sure they’re not, cause when dikki and hairy or something were here and they play their instruments, it’s like torture. So I guess Amir is actually a great housemate, cause he cleans the bathroom, have the quietest party ever and ask if I’m ok when I didn’t go out for a few days.

Hmm..

But anyway I felt disturbed that he realized I haven’t been out for a few days.

Do people actually notice that behind a closed door?

So I replied “Is it weird not to go out for a few days?”

Then he replied “yea, extraordinary. I dun see you have your lunch or dinner even junk food. r u on a diet? If u have any prob, dont hesitate to share. I’ll try to consider.”

I guess he thought I’m having financial problem.

But anyway from his reply I relaxed a bit. Cause he didn’t realise that I went out for dinner and lunch with my brothers and the day before I went out to buy food for both lunch and dinner. Means he’s not stalking me. Fuh~

But anyway, all those texting doesn’t explain why his room is empty. He sleeps on the floor? I guess its acceptable. Its parquet anyway.

Then a thought strike me. He’s been sleeping in dikki’s room!

FUCK.

That’s why the electricity bill is so high?

I went slowly to the closed door or dikki’s ex-room. I could feel the air-conditioning on my feet from under the door.

DAMN him.

I look outside the house. True. All the cars are still here. They’re all sleeping in dikki’s room and all these while I thought I’m alone at home.

You know what is the most horrible thing?

He just asked me to pay the electricity bill 2 days ago. I got a shocked when I see it. Dikki moved out end of april. The electricity bill wasn’t paid since March. Its 400+ now. 200+ for march and 100+ for april and 100+ for may. I thought I’d just call Jasmine and ask her to settle it. Since I’m sure she collected deposit from Dikki. I was thinking, how come May bill is still as much, since only dikki’s room have an aircond. Now I understand why the amount is so much.

Its time to move out. Without paying.